Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
CHILD SAVED BY SPIDERMAN!!!!!
Earlier this week, a 8year old boy w/Autism climbed out onto the 3rd floor ledge of his new school and was too scared to move. After hearing from the child's mother about the child's love for the superhero Spiderman a fast thinking firefighter sprung into action.
read more from link below:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7961208.stm
read more from link below:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7961208.stm
Monday, March 23, 2009
New Mexico becomes 9th State to Pass Autism Insurance Reform
Non Profit Organization "Autism Speaks" joins New Mexico Autism community in Applauding State legislators for passing Autism Insurance Legislation
see link below 4 full article:
Autism Speaks Joins the New Mexico Autism Community In Applauding State Legislators for Passing Autism Insurance Legislation
see link below 4 full article:
Autism Speaks Joins the New Mexico Autism Community In Applauding State Legislators for Passing Autism Insurance Legislation
REGRETS
To feel sorrow or remorse that's how the word "regret" is defined in the dictionary. In my colorful life pre&post Malik there's not alot I feel sorrow or remorse for.
But, if I had 2pick ne thing I regret, it would definitely be me &Shawn's unconscious decision not 2have ne more kids.
I think a family of 5 is perfect! 2parents along w/2boys & a girl! I think when Shawn & I finally wrapped our brains around the fact that our son would have special needs that would always have 2come 1st we just became so engrossed w/Malik & his life 4years I neva considered another child. I cant speak 4Shawn but, another child was neva a priority honestly, it wasnt a consideration. We became sooooo involved w/Malik we were learning, coping, and basically trying 2save our marriage. During those times even a discussion concerning another child probably would have pushed us both over the edge! truth b told I think we all thought my nephew was always going 2b Maliks brother/cousin/guardian/protector! we all are guilty in taking turns reminding buddah of his responsibility. The we I'm speaking of begins w/me, shawn, my brother, my mom and dad.
We constantly expressed w/seriousness &urgency 2buddah how important it was that he always look after his cuz. buddah was often told how some people may treat malik unfairly &possibly take advantage of him & how it was his job 2 not let that happen. Thinking back I realize how unfair that was 4buddah of course if he saw malik being mistreated I had confidence buddah would tell an adult. but ultimately buddah was a child& being malik's keeper was not his job. His job was being a kid.
Now that we've relocated 2Georgia, and its just us. I used 2feel like I cheated Malik. Cheated him out of having the permanent friend, protection &companionship a sibling could bring. This past summer buddah along w/my NY family came 2visit. Malik was initially happy 2c buddah, then it seemed as if he ignored him and played by himself. We were all shocked. A few weeks after every1 returned 2NY I asked Shawn if he thought we should have given Malik a sibling, 2look after him. Shawn said u no how Malik is. Malik likes things his way, Malik has his scheduled tv programs, his family photos all around him, his playstation, he doesn't want 2share that w/anyone. Shawn went on to say Malik and Buddah will always and 4ever have eachother! but, I no Malik is fine he is his own best friend, he has himself ! and he's fine & happy w/that and, when Malik's happy I'm happy! I thought about what Shawn said and I agree. Malik is a well adjusted 14yo kid. He's always participating in extracurricular activities where he gets a chance 2mingle w/his peers. Malik swims, plays soccer and bball, this summer he will take on a whole new activity. He will begin horsebackriding.
I believe everything happens 4a reason & our decision 2not have ne more children may have been so we could give Malik our full attention & love that he would need 2be the best he can be! & knowing that, theres definitely no remorse or sorrow only happiness !
But, if I had 2pick ne thing I regret, it would definitely be me &Shawn's unconscious decision not 2have ne more kids.
I think a family of 5 is perfect! 2parents along w/2boys & a girl! I think when Shawn & I finally wrapped our brains around the fact that our son would have special needs that would always have 2come 1st we just became so engrossed w/Malik & his life 4years I neva considered another child. I cant speak 4Shawn but, another child was neva a priority honestly, it wasnt a consideration. We became sooooo involved w/Malik we were learning, coping, and basically trying 2save our marriage. During those times even a discussion concerning another child probably would have pushed us both over the edge! truth b told I think we all thought my nephew was always going 2b Maliks brother/cousin/guardian/protector! we all are guilty in taking turns reminding buddah of his responsibility. The we I'm speaking of begins w/me, shawn, my brother, my mom and dad.
We constantly expressed w/seriousness &urgency 2buddah how important it was that he always look after his cuz. buddah was often told how some people may treat malik unfairly &possibly take advantage of him & how it was his job 2 not let that happen. Thinking back I realize how unfair that was 4buddah of course if he saw malik being mistreated I had confidence buddah would tell an adult. but ultimately buddah was a child& being malik's keeper was not his job. His job was being a kid.
Now that we've relocated 2Georgia, and its just us. I used 2feel like I cheated Malik. Cheated him out of having the permanent friend, protection &companionship a sibling could bring. This past summer buddah along w/my NY family came 2visit. Malik was initially happy 2c buddah, then it seemed as if he ignored him and played by himself. We were all shocked. A few weeks after every1 returned 2NY I asked Shawn if he thought we should have given Malik a sibling, 2look after him. Shawn said u no how Malik is. Malik likes things his way, Malik has his scheduled tv programs, his family photos all around him, his playstation, he doesn't want 2share that w/anyone. Shawn went on to say Malik and Buddah will always and 4ever have eachother! but, I no Malik is fine he is his own best friend, he has himself ! and he's fine & happy w/that and, when Malik's happy I'm happy! I thought about what Shawn said and I agree. Malik is a well adjusted 14yo kid. He's always participating in extracurricular activities where he gets a chance 2mingle w/his peers. Malik swims, plays soccer and bball, this summer he will take on a whole new activity. He will begin horsebackriding.
I believe everything happens 4a reason & our decision 2not have ne more children may have been so we could give Malik our full attention & love that he would need 2be the best he can be! & knowing that, theres definitely no remorse or sorrow only happiness !
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
WORDS CAN BE HURTFUL
Back in the day b4 all the information about Autism was known, b4 all the studies, the walks, the fundraising, the celebrities and the public becoming more aware and sensitive 2the disorder things were really tough!
No one understood or knew how 2deal w/the disorder. So, taking Malik out n public was a challenge. Each time he was out I found myself compelled 2explain 2the many people who looked at him in disgust why he acted that way. During these times I felt as if I was a failure and (I'm ashamed 2admit it now) embarrassed!
I found it easier just 2leave him at home. This way I wouldn't have 2deal with the stares and eye rolling I received in numerous stores. I often caught shoppers especially women shaking their heads, and agreeing w/each other how " they would not let their child act that way."
These hurtful remarks often lead me 2leave many stores in a tearful rage! .....Crying because of course I was hurt & feeling sorry 4myself, angry for 4not saying anything 2these people, and most angriest w/myself 4allowing these ignorant people who had no clue about me or my son 2get nside my head!
Over the years part of Malik's cirriculum has been 2go on several Community Based Outtings (CBO) in school. So, now when he goes 2stores he is more behaved and he participates n the whole shopping experience.
The incident, that was the inspiration 4this post didnot involve Malik but, it did involve kids who r just like my son so it could have just as easily been Malik"s class.
I was in a mini strip mall in Conyers, at a jewelry store getting my favorite necklace fixed. I was informed by the gentleman behind the counter I had 2wait 1/2 hr 4my necklace. Which was not a problem. I commenced 2take out my cell and talk 2my best friend Dawn from AZ. I was standing n front of the window when a Dekalb County School bus pulled up. I didnt pay the bus 2much attention until the kids got off the bus. I noticed they were all special need students. I immediately paid attention. They were having one of their CBO's, upon gettin off the school bus some of them waved and smiled. I returned the gesture when I heard the gentleman behind the counter say 2the other gentleman jokingly"hey, there's your bus coming to pick you up." instanly all the bad memories of the various women popped n my mind and I became angry! I turned and looked at the gentleman who made the comment 2show him my distain 4his remark I shook my head!
A few minutes passed and the gentleman called 2me and let me no my necklace was ready. I ended my phone call and after my transaction was complete. I calmly told the gentleman although, he was not speaking 2me I found his comment to be offensive and having a child with special needs is not a laughing matter! he proceeded 2try and explain himself by 1st himin-and-hawin about how this-and-that , then he blurted out I'M SORRY that was inappropriate and i apologize!
I politely took my necklace, & walked out of the store.
Funny thing on the way 2my car..... gone were the feelings of embarrassment and failure !!!!!
I felt relieved, happy, and powerful! I will not allow anyone to ever again get nside my head and dictate how I feel about my son's disability!
No one understood or knew how 2deal w/the disorder. So, taking Malik out n public was a challenge. Each time he was out I found myself compelled 2explain 2the many people who looked at him in disgust why he acted that way. During these times I felt as if I was a failure and (I'm ashamed 2admit it now) embarrassed!
I found it easier just 2leave him at home. This way I wouldn't have 2deal with the stares and eye rolling I received in numerous stores. I often caught shoppers especially women shaking their heads, and agreeing w/each other how " they would not let their child act that way."
These hurtful remarks often lead me 2leave many stores in a tearful rage! .....Crying because of course I was hurt & feeling sorry 4myself, angry for 4not saying anything 2these people, and most angriest w/myself 4allowing these ignorant people who had no clue about me or my son 2get nside my head!
Over the years part of Malik's cirriculum has been 2go on several Community Based Outtings (CBO) in school. So, now when he goes 2stores he is more behaved and he participates n the whole shopping experience.
The incident, that was the inspiration 4this post didnot involve Malik but, it did involve kids who r just like my son so it could have just as easily been Malik"s class.
I was in a mini strip mall in Conyers, at a jewelry store getting my favorite necklace fixed. I was informed by the gentleman behind the counter I had 2wait 1/2 hr 4my necklace. Which was not a problem. I commenced 2take out my cell and talk 2my best friend Dawn from AZ. I was standing n front of the window when a Dekalb County School bus pulled up. I didnt pay the bus 2much attention until the kids got off the bus. I noticed they were all special need students. I immediately paid attention. They were having one of their CBO's, upon gettin off the school bus some of them waved and smiled. I returned the gesture when I heard the gentleman behind the counter say 2the other gentleman jokingly"hey, there's your bus coming to pick you up." instanly all the bad memories of the various women popped n my mind and I became angry! I turned and looked at the gentleman who made the comment 2show him my distain 4his remark I shook my head!
A few minutes passed and the gentleman called 2me and let me no my necklace was ready. I ended my phone call and after my transaction was complete. I calmly told the gentleman although, he was not speaking 2me I found his comment to be offensive and having a child with special needs is not a laughing matter! he proceeded 2try and explain himself by 1st himin-and-hawin about how this-and-that , then he blurted out I'M SORRY that was inappropriate and i apologize!
I politely took my necklace, & walked out of the store.
Funny thing on the way 2my car..... gone were the feelings of embarrassment and failure !!!!!
I felt relieved, happy, and powerful! I will not allow anyone to ever again get nside my head and dictate how I feel about my son's disability!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
STAND UP MEN
This post I'm about 2rite is off the subject abit. So, plz bear with me. I feel that there have been extra special people n my life who helped me years ago deal with everything I was going thru. I think everyone will agree, most women r usually very strong and can handle life's ups &downs with ease ! So when my mother, aunts, female cousins, and inlaws rallied round me it felt natural. But, when the men n my family did the same I was truly grateful & amazed!
Often, our lives are so busy and complicated its not hard 2understand how truly difficult it is 2find time just 2say 2our men. THANKS, IM SO PROUD OF U ! just 4being there & being U!
My Dad is truly a kind & giving soul. When we got our diagnosis as always, he stepped n 2protect and comfort his "little girl" I will never forget his strength and love during those difficult times. He was then and will always be my HERO! THANKS Daddy, 4being there &being U!
My brother Jr & I have always had a special bond! which definitely continues 2this day. It's funny when we were growing up we couldn't stand each other but, as soon as I moved out we became very close. I've grown 2 respect and value his opinion, I am so proud of my brother he is so wise. I often joke with him and ask "when did u get so smart?" Jr is like my consultant (smile) we talk about everything. His ability 2rationalize a situation is remarkable 2me. I am proud of him 4being a Great person & an even Greater Father! THANKS Jr, 4always being there &being U!
Although, my cousin & I were seperated by distance I no I was always n his heart as he was n mine! My cousin Darcy"Landy" Greene has always been encouraging,understanding & my own personal cheering squad. At times we talked 4hours on the telephone. Those times meant so much 2me. Thats why I'm especially happy now that the world is finally getting a chance 2 experience his worth, his beautiful heart, mind and spirit. Today, Landy is a father himself and an accomplished entrepreneur he has a successful medical coding business. Words cannot express my genuine love, pride & admiration and my undying THANKS 4being there & just being U!
Last but certainly not LEAST, My husband Shawn! he is my strength, my betta half, my friend, and my awesome support system ! Shawn balances me out perfectly! He is levelheaded, has a great sense of humor, he has an all around wonderful disposition and optimism! His optimism is a characteristic I have learned 2appreciate. Shawn can c a rainbow during any type of storm. That characteristic he possess amazes me, especially back when it seemed like it constanly rained bad news concerning Malik. I hate 2admit it but, back then that trait used 2infuriate me. I wanted him 2show anger &confusion like I did. I often confused his emotions with not caring as much as me. Which I knew was wrong but, because of my anger It was so much easier 2handle it that way. What I've grown 2appreciate was Shawn nowing way back then how I needed 2hear &believe n a rainbow during those times ! Shawn & I have been thru everything 2gether! I'm often amazed how long we've been 2gether! I want to THANK my wonderful HUSBAND SHAWN 4 ALWAYS being there and being strong & BEING U! I'm so PROUD of the MAN, HUSBAND &FATHER u've grown n2! I couldn't ask 4 anyone better !
Trust &believe, if not 4u I wouldn't have made it thru those turbulent times ! I can say with all honesty&pride "When I grow up, I want 2be just like U!"
Often, our lives are so busy and complicated its not hard 2understand how truly difficult it is 2find time just 2say 2our men. THANKS, IM SO PROUD OF U ! just 4being there & being U!
My Dad is truly a kind & giving soul. When we got our diagnosis as always, he stepped n 2protect and comfort his "little girl" I will never forget his strength and love during those difficult times. He was then and will always be my HERO! THANKS Daddy, 4being there &being U!
My brother Jr & I have always had a special bond! which definitely continues 2this day. It's funny when we were growing up we couldn't stand each other but, as soon as I moved out we became very close. I've grown 2 respect and value his opinion, I am so proud of my brother he is so wise. I often joke with him and ask "when did u get so smart?" Jr is like my consultant (smile) we talk about everything. His ability 2rationalize a situation is remarkable 2me. I am proud of him 4being a Great person & an even Greater Father! THANKS Jr, 4always being there &being U!
Although, my cousin & I were seperated by distance I no I was always n his heart as he was n mine! My cousin Darcy"Landy" Greene has always been encouraging,understanding & my own personal cheering squad. At times we talked 4hours on the telephone. Those times meant so much 2me. Thats why I'm especially happy now that the world is finally getting a chance 2 experience his worth, his beautiful heart, mind and spirit. Today, Landy is a father himself and an accomplished entrepreneur he has a successful medical coding business. Words cannot express my genuine love, pride & admiration and my undying THANKS 4being there & just being U!
Last but certainly not LEAST, My husband Shawn! he is my strength, my betta half, my friend, and my awesome support system ! Shawn balances me out perfectly! He is levelheaded, has a great sense of humor, he has an all around wonderful disposition and optimism! His optimism is a characteristic I have learned 2appreciate. Shawn can c a rainbow during any type of storm. That characteristic he possess amazes me, especially back when it seemed like it constanly rained bad news concerning Malik. I hate 2admit it but, back then that trait used 2infuriate me. I wanted him 2show anger &confusion like I did. I often confused his emotions with not caring as much as me. Which I knew was wrong but, because of my anger It was so much easier 2handle it that way. What I've grown 2appreciate was Shawn nowing way back then how I needed 2hear &believe n a rainbow during those times ! Shawn & I have been thru everything 2gether! I'm often amazed how long we've been 2gether! I want to THANK my wonderful HUSBAND SHAWN 4 ALWAYS being there and being strong & BEING U! I'm so PROUD of the MAN, HUSBAND &FATHER u've grown n2! I couldn't ask 4 anyone better !
Trust &believe, if not 4u I wouldn't have made it thru those turbulent times ! I can say with all honesty&pride "When I grow up, I want 2be just like U!"
Much more than Autism
I've never been a person who likes labels. I'm always uncomfortable when people introduce themselves as a label. For instance "hi, I'm Cassandra, I'm a mother" ooookkkkk does that mean I'm nothing else? lately, I've noticed many mothers introduce their children as being Autistic. I'm always puzzled by this because when there is a label put on the child they begin 2believe thats all thats expected of them. 2be Autistic and nothing else!
Malik is so much more 2me. He was 1st&foremost a child of love! he followed with being a beautiful baby boy, he then went on 2become a smart, well mannered, bookreading, basketball&playstation playing, Mcdonald frenchfry eating, nascar watching curious young man!
He can't be sumed up n only those descriptions above, Malik continues 2change. He learns and does more each &everyday ! it's really amazing 2me. I feel it would be a disservice 2him if I only described him as being Autistic. Its just a condition! it does not define him !
After Malik had been at Birch 4 about a year I remember one morning after drop off spending more time than usual n his class. I was surprised at all the things he was doing n school. I'll admit, Malik has always been a spoiled child! and, when he was diagnosed I never thought he would be able 2function so called "normally" but, after seeing him at Birch, I thought 2myself I had unconsciously put restrictions on him because of his disability. I expected nothing from him and that's exactly what I got. Needless 2say when I saw him feeding himself, and putting toys back in their place, sitting still at storytime and participating with the story along with the other kids I knew Malik could flourish just like any other kid.
Fast forward some years and at 14, Malik is still spoiled ! he gets away with more than most kids but, my thinking is not restricted by his disabiltiy anymore I expect so much more from him and he knows it. If I tell him 2do something he knows I expect it 2be done. Like most things changing ur thinking process takes time but, it can be done. So, please challenge urself & ur children 2the fullest of their potential u'll be surprised and learn like I have ur kids r so much more. They r ur pride &joy, ur sons/daughters so much more than the label of Autism!
Malik is so much more 2me. He was 1st&foremost a child of love! he followed with being a beautiful baby boy, he then went on 2become a smart, well mannered, bookreading, basketball&playstation playing, Mcdonald frenchfry eating, nascar watching curious young man!
He can't be sumed up n only those descriptions above, Malik continues 2change. He learns and does more each &everyday ! it's really amazing 2me. I feel it would be a disservice 2him if I only described him as being Autistic. Its just a condition! it does not define him !
After Malik had been at Birch 4 about a year I remember one morning after drop off spending more time than usual n his class. I was surprised at all the things he was doing n school. I'll admit, Malik has always been a spoiled child! and, when he was diagnosed I never thought he would be able 2function so called "normally" but, after seeing him at Birch, I thought 2myself I had unconsciously put restrictions on him because of his disability. I expected nothing from him and that's exactly what I got. Needless 2say when I saw him feeding himself, and putting toys back in their place, sitting still at storytime and participating with the story along with the other kids I knew Malik could flourish just like any other kid.
Fast forward some years and at 14, Malik is still spoiled ! he gets away with more than most kids but, my thinking is not restricted by his disabiltiy anymore I expect so much more from him and he knows it. If I tell him 2do something he knows I expect it 2be done. Like most things changing ur thinking process takes time but, it can be done. So, please challenge urself & ur children 2the fullest of their potential u'll be surprised and learn like I have ur kids r so much more. They r ur pride &joy, ur sons/daughters so much more than the label of Autism!
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